I’m writing this letter because it’s your birthday on Sunday and there’s so much that’s happened and so much I need to say and even though you will never read it, it is something I need to do…
You weren’t perfect, far from it in fact but you were the only consistent thing in my life for so many years, you brought us up by yourself and I never fully understood how hard that must of been until luna came along but I get it now mum and I’m so sorry for all the grief and trouble I caused you throughout the years. I wish I had opened up more and spoke to you about everything I was going through instead of just acting out.
Luna is beautiful mum, she looks so much like you but I think she definitely has my attitude, I mean she’s only just turned one and she is already giving me cheek.she loves music, I play her everything that we listen to and she even dances a bit, well it’s more of a wiggle to be honest. she’s so chatty too but she is my daughter after all, I know you would absolutely love her now just as much as you did when she was first born.
I still go to ring or text you every now and again because it doesn’t feel real most of the time but this week it has, it feels like someone has suckerpunched me in the gut and I’m trying to catch my breath. I keep looking at our matching tattoo and remembering what you said to me when we got them done “We’ll get the same tattoo in the same place, so no matter how far apart we are we can look down and know we are thinking of each other” but even that doesn’t really help anymore.
Even though life is so hard right now, I know I can get through it because you taught me that no matter how many times you get knocked down you get back up fighting twice as hard as you did the last time.
I love you mum, always and forever