“You’re not quite mother material” or “you don’t have that maternal instinct” was something I was told a few times before I fell pregnant with moonpie by people and my own mum, and at the time they were probably right ..
Even when I was pregnant there was alot of talk about how I wouldn’t cope and it was the wrong choice to have her from people who i thought were supportive and from people who didnt even really know me and that hurt alot. I felt like people were writing me off as a bad mum before I had been even given a chance to be one, all because of the bad year I had before, I had separated from my husband who I had been with since I was 19 and even though it was my decision it was still extremely tough transition for me, my mental health was not great at the time so yes I went off the rails abit, but people would rather gossip and slate you than actually try and help.
Throughout my pregnancy I felt very alone and judged because no one was interested in the changes I was making, just the past.
In the first few weeks of having moonpie, I was still being judged by people. I was struggling with bonding her, being very unwell and having post natal depression. I felt like maybe it was true, I wasn’t mum material and I was doing a terrible job because I wasn’t a natural.
Thank god for those few close friends and family members during that time because I don’t know where we would be right now, so no maybe I’m not a natural at being a mum in people’s eyes, but a year on and my daughter is thriving, so loved, happy and healthy. … what more could you want for a child.